December 16, 2013

Jet lag.


So we have been here 5 full days now, and Jack is finally going to bed at a normal time.  Man, I thought jet lag was hard on adults, but let me tell you, the poor baby is suffering the most, well mom is suffering too from the poor baby's suffering.  1 AM is not an ideal bedtime for anyone, and I'd rather not spend 2-3 hours of my night trying to put my baby to sleep.  I'd rather be decorating the Christmas tree, listening to Christmas carols and drinking beer (sounds selfish, trust me I know!).  He is rubbing his eyes and yawning all the time now, and he falls asleep as soon as we get into the car, as do I - Exhibit A in the photo above.  We are tired.

I haven’t traveled outside of the country in a few years, and I think I thought I was immune to jet lag or something crazy like that.  But let me tell you, I fell asleep sitting up on the couch last night and I almost fell out of my seat on the bus and I fall asleep nearly every time I crawl into bed to feed Jack, made us late to dinner yesterday because I fell asleep - oops!  Stuart, Peter's brother, said ...you don't seem to be suffering from jet lag much, and Peter said, well probably because we have been jet lagged for 11 months now.  So true!  I just said, I'm use to the lack of sleep now - so I think my body is starting to function on less.

And yes, jet lag for babies is rough as it's so confusing for them.  And we have Jack on such a great schedule at home that's predictable most of the time.  His morning naps are getting less predictable, but we know around when he naps and how long he will nap for, and we know when he goes to bed, and he falls asleep so easily at home, normally begging for bed time.  And here nothing is constant or predictable, and that's hard for me.  He may sleep for an hour at night and wake up ready to play until 12 or 1.  And he's so overtired that getting him to sleep is my worst nightmare.  I have never heard this child cry like he has here...oh it's so sad.  Breaks my heart to think about it.  Last night I literally just put him in his crib and crawled into bed and put the covers up over my head and bunched up into a ball.  I too wanted to cry.  And when Peter came upstairs to check on us, I just said, I don't know what to do...as the only thing that consoles him is feeding nonstop and sleeping in bed with us.  And all I wanted to do was join in on the fun with the adults.  

And as I type this, I'm realizing just how selfish that is.  The poor bub just wants his mom.  And he is definitely suffering from separation anxiety and he loves to have mom within eyesight.  Who knows if this is because he is just flat out tired or if this is a stage he is entering into, or perhaps both?  Don't get me wrong, I love my child, and I’m so thankful for him, and I love the fact that he reaches for me and knows me, and finds comfort in me, but I must say it's utterly exhausting when you're tired and you are THE person for this one little being.  I think I just figured that we would have extra help with all the extra hands, and I never once thought about how Jack might respond to all those extra hands or how he may favor one set of hands over another.  However, I can honestly say, he's changing.  He's getting use to all the sweet faces and all the love and the extra hands, and he's showing more of his true self.  And I know this stage won't last forever, and I should truly be cherishing this time and these sweet moments we have together and the comfort he finds in me as I am truly blessed.

I mean look at this sweet face!  How can you not want cuddles from him?  How can you not want him to nuzzle his little face into your neck?  


And this one...


Tonight was a different night though - Jack actually went to sleep around 8.  Christmas miracle I tell ya, well Jesus is the real Christmas miracle, but this was pretty great.  It's wonderful to have some time in the evening to just sit and rest, even if it was only an hour.  

However, I did fall asleep while putting Jack to bed, and woke up and immediately glanced at my phone, which said it was 4, and I instantly presumed it was 4 AM.  I was shocked I had slept for so long, couldn't believe my husband wasn't in bed yet.  And as I heard the rumbling sounds of laughter coming from downstairs, I instantly thought oh no...haha! The boys (men) are still up...which means Peter may not be his best self tomorrow, which means we may get a later start on everything than I wanted, which means I may be on my own with Jack in the AM so that Peter can sleep.  And then I realized it was only 10 PM, and I remembered my phone was 6 hours behind.  Best news of the night...the night was still young.  So of course, I ran down the stairs as fast as I could to join in on the fun...didn't want to miss another moment.

And then the baby woke up ...an hour later.

But don't worry he went back to bed in no time, so I was able to finish this post.

Sending so much love from the Emerald Isle,

Malia

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